Start with your name and ask who is calling
The first words out of your mouth should be: "Who am I speaking with, and what company are you calling from?" Write down the name and company when ready. Bill collectors are required to tell you this, and getting it on record — even just in your own notes — protects you later if the conversation goes wrong.
After they answer, say: "I need to verify this is a legitimate call. Can you send me written notice of this debt?" This is not a request; it is your right under federal law. Collectors must send you a written notice within five days of first contact. If they refuse or get hostile about it, that is a sign the call may not be legitimate.
Do not give any information before you have their name and company. Do not confirm your address, Social Security number, employer, or bank details on a first call. Scammers posing as collectors use this information to steal from you.
Key Takeaways
- Ask for the caller's name and company before you say anything else, and request written notice of the debt within five days.
- You can tell a collector in writing to stop calling you, and they must obey — send the letter certified mail and keep a copy.
- Never admit you owe the debt, never agree to pay, and never give bank or payment information on a first call.
- If a collector threatens you, curses at you, calls before 8 a.m. or after 9 p.m., or contacts your employer, document it and report it to your state attorney general.
- If you cannot pay the full amount, you can propose a payment plan in writing, but do not commit to anything you cannot afford.
How to stop the calls without admitting you owe anything
If you do not want to hear from a collector again, you have the right to tell them to stop. The magic phrase is: "I am requesting that you cease all contact with me. Please send me written confirmation that you have received this request." Say it clearly, and follow up with a letter sent certified mail.
The letter should say: "I am requesting that you cease all communication with me regarding [account number or original creditor name]. Do not call, email, text, or mail me. Confirm receipt of this letter in writing." Sign it, date it, and keep a copy. Once they receive it, they can only contact you to say they are stopping — or to tell you they are suing.
This works even if you owe the debt. Stopping the calls does not erase what you owe, but it does stop the harassment. If they keep calling after your written request, that is a violation of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act, and you can report it.
What to say if you want to negotiate or set up a payment plan
If you want to work out a deal, do not do it on the phone the first time. Say: "I cannot discuss this right now. Send me the written notice and I will contact you within ten days." This gives you time to review the debt, check your own records, and decide what you can actually afford.
When you call back or respond in writing, be specific about what you can pay. Do not say "I will try to pay something." Say: "I can pay $50 per month on the 15th of each month, starting [date]." If that is not enough, the collector may counter, but you have set a clear boundary.
Get any agreement in writing before you send money. If they refuse to put it in writing, do not pay. A verbal agreement means nothing if the collector changes their mind or sells the debt to someone else. The written agreement should say the amount, the date, and what happens if you miss a payment.
Phrases that protect you legally
Use these exact words if the conversation becomes difficult: "I do not admit that I owe this debt" and "I am requesting written verification of this debt." These phrases are your shield. They keep you from accidentally saying something that counts as admitting you owe money, which can hurt you if the case goes to court.
If the collector asks you to pay by wire transfer, gift card, or cryptocurrency, say: "No. I will only pay by check, money order, or bank transfer to an account in your company's name." Scammers and illegitimate collectors push wire transfers because the money cannot be reversed. Real collectors accept standard payment methods.
If they threaten to sue, say: "I understand. Please send me written notice of any legal action." Do not panic. Many collectors threaten to sue but do not follow through. If they actually file a case, you will receive court papers — that is when you need to respond, and that is when you may want to talk to a lawyer.
Red flags that signal a scam or illegal collector
Hang up when ready if the caller threatens to arrest you, take your house, or garnish your wages without going to court first. Legitimate collectors cannot do any of those things without a court order. If someone claims they can, they are either a scammer or breaking the law.
Other warning signs: the caller refuses to give you their name or company, they demand payment by wire or gift card, they call repeatedly in one day, they call before 8 a.m. or after 9 p.m., or they contact your boss or family members about a personal debt. All of these are illegal under federal law.
If you suspect a scam, hang up and call the number on your credit card statement or bank statement to verify the debt. Do not call a number the collector gave you. Report the call to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau at consumerfinance.gov or to your state attorney general's office.
What to do if a collector violates the law
Document every violation. Write down the date, time, caller's name, company, what they said, and what they did. If they called multiple times in one day, note each call. If they called before 8 a.m. or after 9 p.m., write that down. If they threatened you or used profanity, record it in your notes as soon as the call ends.
Send a written complaint to your state attorney general's office and to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Include your notes, the collector's name and company, and the dates of the violations. You can also file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission at reportfraud.ftc.gov.
If the violations are serious — repeated calls after you asked them to stop, threats, or harassment — you may have the right to sue the collector for damages. Many lawyers who handle these cases work on contingency, meaning you do not pay unless you win. Contact your state bar association for a referral.
Sample scripts for common situations
First call, unknown debt: "Who am I speaking with, and what company are you calling from? I need you to send me written notice of this debt within five days. I will not discuss this further until I receive it."
Debt you recognize but cannot pay right now: "I received your notice. I cannot pay the full amount right now. Send me a written proposal for a payment plan, and I will review it. Do not call me again until you have sent that in writing."
Collector who keeps calling: "I am requesting that you cease all contact with me. I am sending you a certified letter with this request. Do not call me again." Then send the letter when ready.
Collector who threatens legal action: "I understand. Send me written notice of any lawsuit. Do not contact me by phone again." Then consult a lawyer if you receive court papers.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a bill collector call my work or my family members?
No. Collectors can contact your employer only to find your address or phone number, not to discuss the debt. They cannot tell your boss you owe money. They can contact family members only to locate you, and they cannot tell them about the debt. If a collector discusses your debt with your employer or family, that is a violation. Document it and report it to your state attorney general.
What if I cannot afford a payment plan?
Tell the collector that in writing. You do not have to agree to anything you cannot pay. If the debt is very old or the collector cannot prove you owe it, you may have other options — consult a lawyer. If you are struggling with multiple debts, look into nonprofit credit counseling through the National Foundation for Credit Counseling.
Should I give the collector my bank account information?
Not on the first call. If you agree to a payment plan in writing, you can authorize a bank transfer, but only after you have the agreement in front of you. Never give your account number, routing number, or Social Security number to someone who called you. Scammers use this to drain your account.
What happens if I ignore the collector?
The calls and letters will likely continue until the debt is paid, settled, or the statute of limitations expires. If the collector sues and you ignore the lawsuit, the court may enter a judgment against you, which can lead to wage garnishment or bank levies. Ignoring the problem does not make it go away, but responding in writing protects you more than silence does.
Can I record the call?
It depends on your state. Some states allow you to record if one person on the call knows it is happening (you). Other states require both people to consent. Check your state's recording laws before you record. Even if you cannot record, you can take detailed notes when ready after the call ends, and those notes are admissible in court.