What you need to do to become your parent's power of attorney
To become your parent's power of attorney, your parent must sign a legal document that names you as their agent while they are still mentally able to understand what they are signing. There is no court process, no judge, and no waiting period — the document itself is what gives you the authority. Your parent can sign it at home, in a lawyer's office, or in a hospital room, as long as they understand what they are doing.
The document must be notarized (signed in front of a notary public) in most states, and some states require witnesses as well. Once it is signed and notarized, it is valid when ready — unless your parent wrote it to take effect only if they become incapacitated, which is called a "springing" power of attorney. You then show the document to banks, healthcare providers, or whoever you need to act on your parent's behalf.
If your parent is already unable to make decisions or refuses to sign, you will need to go to court and ask a judge to appoint you as conservator or guardian — a different and longer process that we cover below.
Key Takeaways
- Your parent must sign a power of attorney document while they can still understand what they are signing; if they cannot, you must petition a court instead.
- The document must be notarized in all states, and some states require one or two witnesses to sign as well.
- A power of attorney takes effect when ready when signed, unless your parent specifies it should only take effect if they become incapacitated.
- If your parent is already incapacitated or refuses to sign, you will need to file a guardianship or conservatorship petition in probate court.
- Different states have different forms and rules, so using your state's official form or hiring a lawyer reduces the risk of the document being rejected.
Getting your parent to sign a power of attorney while they still can
The easiest path is to have your parent sign a power of attorney document before they need it. This works only if your parent is mentally capable of understanding the document — meaning they know who you are, understand what authority they are giving you, and can communicate their wishes. A doctor does not have to sign off on this; your parent's own understanding is what matters.
You can obtain a power of attorney form in three ways. First, use your state's official statutory form, which you can read from your state bar association's website or your state legislature's website. Second, buy a form from an online legal document service like LegalZoom or Nolo. Third, hire a lawyer to draft one. A lawyer costs the most but is the safest choice if your parent has significant assets, if there are family conflicts, or if your parent has a complex medical history.
Once you have the form, sit down with your parent and go through it together. Make sure they understand what powers they are giving you — whether you can access their bank accounts, sell their house, make healthcare decisions, or all of these. Your parent can limit your powers to only what they want you to handle.
Your parent then signs the document in front of a notary public. The notary will ask for identification and will watch your parent sign. In some states, one or two witnesses must also sign — check your state's requirements before you schedule the notary appointment. Once it is notarized, make several copies and keep them in a safe place. Give one copy to your parent, one to their doctor, one to their bank, and keep one for yourself.
When your parent is already incapacitated or will not sign
If your parent is no longer able to understand a power of attorney document, or if they refuse to sign one, you cannot force them to do so. Instead, you must file a petition in probate court asking a judge to appoint you as conservator (if you will manage their money and property) or guardian (if you will make healthcare and personal decisions). Some states use different names — "conservator" in some states means only financial decisions, while "guardian" means personal and healthcare decisions. Other states use "guardian" for both or use "conservatorship" for both.
This process takes time and money. You will need to file paperwork with the probate court in your parent's county, pay a filing fee (usually $200 to $500), and in many cases hire a lawyer. The court may require a doctor's letter stating that your parent cannot make their own decisions. Some courts appoint a separate person called a "guardian ad litem" to investigate whether guardianship is truly necessary and to represent your parent's interests.
Once the judge approves your petition, you receive letters of guardianship or conservatorship from the court. You then show these letters to banks, healthcare providers, and others to prove you have authority. Unlike a power of attorney, a guardianship or conservatorship is ongoing — you may have to file annual reports with the court, and the court can remove you if you misuse your authority.
Differences between power of attorney and guardianship
| Power of Attorney | Guardianship or Conservatorship |
|---|---|
| Your parent must sign while mentally capable | Court appoints you; your parent does not have to agree |
| No court involvement; takes effect when ready | Requires court petition, filing fees, and often a lawyer |
| Takes weeks to set up | Takes weeks to months depending on court backlog |
| Your parent can revoke it at any time if still capable | Only a judge can end it |
| No ongoing court reporting required | You may have to file annual accountings with the court |
What you can and cannot do as power of attorney
The powers you have depend on what your parent wrote in the document. A general power of attorney gives you broad authority to handle money, property, bank accounts, investments, and real estate. A limited power of attorney restricts you to specific tasks — for example, selling one house or managing one bank account. A healthcare power of attorney (also called a healthcare proxy or medical power of attorney) lets you make medical decisions but not financial ones.
Even with a general power of attorney, there are things you cannot do. You cannot change your parent's will, make gifts of their money to yourself or others (unless the document specifically allows it), or use their money for your own benefit. You must act in your parent's best interest, keep their money separate from yours, and keep records of what you spend. If you violate these duties, your parent (or their estate after death) can sue you for the money you misused.
Banks and other institutions may ask you to sign a form saying you understand these duties. Some banks will not accept an old power of attorney document and will ask your parent to sign their own form instead. Call ahead and ask what the bank needs before you show up with the document.
State-specific rules and where to find your state's form
Every state has its own power of attorney law, and some states are stricter than others. A few states require the document to be witnessed by two people who are not related to you or your parent. Some states require specific language in the document or specific formatting. Using your state's official statutory form reduces the risk that a bank or healthcare provider will reject it.
To find your state's form, search "[your state] statutory power of attorney form" or visit your state bar association's website. Many state bar associations have free forms or links to where you can read them. If you cannot find it online, call your county probate court and ask where to get the official form.
If you use an online legal service or hire a lawyer, make sure they are familiar with your state's rules. A power of attorney signed in one state may not be accepted in another state if it does not follow the second state's requirements. If your parent moves or has property in multiple states, you may need separate power of attorney documents for each state.
When to hire a lawyer
You can create a straightforward power of attorney on your own using your state's form and a notary, especially if your parent's finances are straightforward and there are no family conflicts. However, a lawyer is worth the cost in several situations: if your parent has a large estate, owns property in multiple states, has a complicated family situation, or if siblings or other relatives might challenge your authority later.
A lawyer can also help if your parent is already incapacitated and you need to file for guardianship. Guardianship law is complex and varies by state, and a mistake in your paperwork can delay the process or get your petition dismissed. Many lawyers offer a free initial consultation, so you can call and ask whether your situation needs a lawyer or whether a form will work.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I get power of attorney over my parent if they do not want me to have it?
No, not through a power of attorney document — your parent must sign it willingly. If your parent is incapacitated or refuses to sign and you believe they need someone to manage their affairs, you can petition a court for guardianship or conservatorship, which does not require your parent's consent. This is a court process that takes longer and costs more.
What if my parent signed a power of attorney years ago and I cannot find it?
Contact your parent's lawyer, bank, or healthcare provider — they may have a copy on file. If no one has it and your parent is still capable of understanding, you can ask them to sign a new one. If your parent is incapacitated, you will need to file for guardianship.
Does power of attorney end when my parent dies?
Yes, a power of attorney is no longer valid after your parent dies. At that point, the person named in your parent's will (the executor) takes over managing the estate. If there is no will, the probate court will appoint someone. You cannot use the power of attorney to handle your parent's affairs after death.
Can my parent revoke the power of attorney after they sign it?
Yes, as long as your parent is still mentally capable, they can revoke it at any time by signing a revocation document and notarizing it. They should notify you, their bank, and their healthcare provider that the power of attorney is no longer valid. If your parent becomes incapacitated, they can no longer revoke it.
What if my sibling also has power of attorney and we disagree about what to do?
If your parent named both of you as co-agents, you may have to act together — meaning you both have to agree on major decisions. Check the power of attorney document to see whether it requires both of you to sign or whether either of you can act alone. If you cannot agree and your parent is incapacitated, you may need to ask a court for guidance or file a petition to remove your sibling.