The basic steps for using the toilet
Using the toilet is a skill that takes practice, but the steps are always the same. First, you pull down your pants or underwear and sit on the toilet seat. Then you relax your body and let your urine or stool come out into the bowl. When you are done, you use toilet paper to wipe yourself clean — girls wipe from front to back, and boys can wipe if they want to. Finally, you pull your pants back up, flush the toilet by pushing the handle or button, and wash your hands with soap and water.
The whole process usually takes just a few minutes. Some children need more time at first, and that is normal. Your child might sit on the toilet for a while before anything happens, and that is okay — their body is learning what the toilet is for.
Key Takeaways
- Sit on the toilet, relax, and let your body do its work without pushing hard or straining.
- Use toilet paper to wipe after you go to the bathroom, wiping from front to back if you are a girl.
- Flush the toilet after you wipe, then wash your hands with soap and water every single time.
- It is normal to feel nervous or unsure the first few times — your body needs practice to learn this new skill.
- Tell a grown-up if you feel pain, cannot go to the bathroom, or have questions about what is happening.
Getting comfortable sitting on the toilet
Many children feel scared or unsure when they first sit on a real toilet. The toilet is big, the water is loud, and it feels strange. You can make it feel safer by using a toilet seat reducer — a smaller seat that fits on top of the regular toilet seat so you do not feel like you might fall in. You can also use a step stool so your feet touch the ground instead of dangling, which helps you feel more stable and in control.
Let your child sit on the toilet with their clothes on at first, just to get used to how it feels and sounds. Flush it a few times so they hear the noise and see that it is not scary. Some children like to read a book or sing a song while they sit, which helps them relax. The more time they spend on the toilet without pressure, the easier it becomes.
How to wipe properly
Wiping is an important part of staying clean and healthy. If you are a girl, always wipe from front to back — that means starting at the front of your body and moving toward the back. This keeps germs from your stool away from the rest of your body. If you are a boy, you can wipe if you want to, but many boys do not need to wipe after urinating.
Use enough toilet paper to do the job, but you do not need to use the whole roll. You can wipe once, look at the paper, and wipe again if you need to. Most children need to wipe two or three times. If you are not sure whether you are clean, ask a grown-up to check for you.
Flushing and washing hands
After you wipe, it is time to flush. Push the handle on the side of the toilet or press the button on top — different toilets work different ways. The water will swirl and carry everything down into the pipes under the house. Some children are scared of the flushing sound or the swirling water, so it is okay to cover your ears or step back if you need to.
After you flush, you must wash your hands with soap and water. Use warm water and rub your hands together with soap for about 20 seconds — you can sing "Happy Birthday" twice to time it. Wash between your fingers, under your nails, and the backs of your hands. Dry your hands with a clean towel or paper towel. Washing your hands every time you use the bathroom keeps you and everyone around you healthy.
What to do if you have an accident
Accidents happen to almost every child learning to use the toilet, and they are not a big deal. If you have an accident during the day, tell a grown-up right away so they can help you clean up and change your clothes. If you have an accident at night while you are sleeping, that is called bedwetting, and it is very common — your body is still learning to hold urine while you sleep, and this takes time.
Never feel ashamed or embarrassed about accidents. Your body is learning a new skill, just like learning to ride a bike or tie your shoes. Every child who has ever used a toilet had accidents when they were learning. The more you practice, the better your body gets at knowing when it is time to go to the bathroom.
Signs that you need to go to the bathroom
Your body sends you signals when it is time to use the toilet. You might feel pressure or fullness in your belly, or you might feel a tingling feeling. Some children feel the urge to go very suddenly, and some children have a little bit of warning. Learning to notice these signals takes practice, so do not worry if you miss them at first.
If you are not sure whether you need to go, you can always try sitting on the toilet anyway. It does not hurt to sit there even if nothing happens. Some families set regular times to use the bathroom — like after meals, before bed, and before leaving the house — which helps children get into a routine and have fewer accidents.
When to tell a grown-up about problems
Most of the time, using the toilet becomes easier with practice. But sometimes there are problems that need a grown-up's help. Tell a parent, guardian, or teacher if you feel pain when you go to the bathroom, if you cannot go for several days, if you go to the bathroom much more often than usual, or if you see blood in your urine or stool.
You should also tell a grown-up if you feel scared or upset about using the toilet, even after you have been practicing for a while. There is no such thing as a silly question or a problem that is too small to mention. A doctor can help if something does not feel right, and talking to a grown-up is always the right choice.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I am scared of falling in the toilet?
That fear is very common. A toilet seat reducer makes the opening smaller so you feel safer. You can also have a grown-up hold your hand or stand next to you while you sit. The more times you use the toilet safely, the less scary it becomes.
How do I know if I am wiping enough?
Keep wiping until the toilet paper comes away mostly clean. You do not need it to be completely white — a little color is normal. If you are not sure, ask a grown-up to check for you the first few times.
Is it okay to need help using the toilet?
Yes. Many children need help pulling their pants down, wiping, or flushing at first. Needing help is part of learning, and it is completely normal. You will need less help as you practice.
What if I cannot go to the bathroom even though I am sitting on the toilet?
That happens sometimes, especially when you are nervous or in a hurry. You can get up and try again later. If you have not gone to the bathroom for more than two or three days, or if you feel uncomfortable, tell a grown-up.
Why do I have to wash my hands after using the toilet?
Washing your hands keeps germs from spreading to your food, your face, and other people. Even though you wiped, tiny germs can still be on your hands, and soap and water wash them away.